When They Are Ready

If you are looking for expert advise, STOP reading now. As I have repeatedly informed everyone I am not a supermomma, backed up with all researched facts in child rearing and psychology. What you will see here is how I stumble day in and day out of momma life and somehow yield OK results. I have been going at it blindly. I am not OC, never have been in any aspect of my life. I have tried of course to do what is best, based on my capabilities. On the other hand, I do acknowledge my short comings and  safe to say, better them. What I can offer maybe, is the bits of observation about the things that worked out for me. 

I have this theory that I have been nursing in my head for quite awhile. I have seen it work with my eldest and waiting if it will hold true for my girls as well. I am glad to say this theory has been re-affirmed by all my 3 kids yesterday! Yes! In one day! So anyway, let me just come out and say what it is. So you know how when you read articles about milestones and when your baby should be reaching them? And then at the end they will say every baby is different blah blah blah and assures you that it is ok if your baby hasn't done this or that yet.  Well I have taken that part to heart. HAHA I do not believe in putting pressures on my children. That every milestone should be on the dot as to what the books say. Sometimes they are advance and sometimes behind. BUT THAT IS REALLY OK. More so now that Sandra and Lila are not hitting the same milestones at the same time. It can be a cause of worry. But what good will it do if I push the other just because I compared her with her sister? Right? 

So anyway I am going a bit off track. What I really want to share is how kids are so brilliant that they will let us know when they are ready! So here comes my concrete example from yesterday. 

I haven't been rigidly teaching my girls their alphabet and numbers yet. Although I must admit I second guessed my belief on that one for awhile. Anyway last night the two were not cooperating with me at all! I usually do a countdown which works with my eldest all the time. I just tried, maybe, they would get it too. BUT to my surprise - when I said 1 they answered in chorus 2! Then alternating with me! What the?! I forgot that I was seriously mad already. It was so funny! What a great surprise! So really they absorb these things without us having to drill it in them. They are too young to understand these concepts anyway.  However they will show you that they are ready to LEARN so take their cue and fill their brains up! 

Another incident happened with my eldest earlier that day. We went ice skating for the 2nd time and he learned to skate on his own! He is 7, so that might not be such an impressive feat if you do not personally know my son. This little guy, for some weird reason has turned out to be an overly cautious one. He is not up to taking risks if he knows there is a possibility getting hurt. He always holds my hand when we walk around the mall especially on escalators, he does not run in the parking lot more so in the street. He sticks close by when we are out. He does not like roller coasters. When he was younger he cries when we swim, he does not go on slides or jumps off things. And the list goes on... So when yesterday he let go of my hand and skated on his own I was jumping for joy. He also recently just learned to swim by himself floating and dog paddle-ing.  This boy who clutches on my hand for support all the time - let go. I was so proud of him and I think I heard his message loud and clear! He is letting me know he is ready to take on things and be more adventurous. I cannot be any happier!!! 

To give another example, I also applied this to potty training my eldest. Now my twins are the same. They are the ones who started removing their diapers on their own and saying pupu when they needed to go. Same goes for a lot of things, like having them eat on their own, playing a certain toy you are excited for them to try or that game you want them to learn. Wait it out so at least you skip the frustrating part and deal with it when they are READY. No need to rush really. They will get there before we know it.

P.S.

Do not try this when you are training them to stay put in their cribs, car seats, high chairs and strollers. There is no waiting that out. Best to start right away and get them used to it. There is no way you can force them into that once they are older. I have learned the hard way times 3. 

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much love