Spoiled No Longer

I finally had a serious talk with my eldest C about his upcoming birthday celebration.  I have been torturing myself over the fact that we cannot provide him with a party this year.  Being in big school, he  is now open to more party invitations and our guest list would have increased in number too.  It wouldn't have been an issue since his birthday falls during summer vacation already but he has such a n outgoing attitude. He wants to be able to invite his friends for a party too and has been asking us for one. 

Its just so heartbreaking but I laid down all the facts for him to understand. I really believe in letting my child know whats the deal. I am probably making him grow up and mature a bit too soon but that has always been our relationship.  So anyway I told him it would be hard this year since it would be his sisters' 1st birthday also. Way harsh I know. I know I should always, always try not to blame the babies to avoid resentment from him. He has been taking everything on quite well already. 

I am actually proud of how I raised this lil one. I seriously do not know how that happened but nonetheless I am extremely grateful. He is so aware already of how to be generous in many ways and be conscious of others. I feel guilty to not be able to spoil him anymore. But reality and practicality hits. He has been our one and only for 5 years and has been so spoiled all those times.

To make him feel a bit better we went through all his past birthdays and reminisced on how we celebrated them. I think it was a pretty successful gesture. We have been giving him big parties until he was 3. When he was 4 we drew the line and just had a simple celeb at home but ended up going with fam to Enchanted Kingdom.  On his 5th birthday even though I was in bed rest, pregnant with the twins we were able to sneak in a quickie lunch out for pizza and pasta, his fave. His Auntie also stepped up and baked him a cake with all his favorite chocolates as topping! So all 5 years have been great really and going through all his photos helped remind him and ME of that. 

We also discussed that you usually throw big parties for the 1st and 7th year anyways and he has been quite lucky already. So what really got him out of his funk is the fact that I promised him a big one for next year! He got so excited and started writing down the guest list already which consisted of his entire class and cousins! HAHA I had to remind him that he will have a different set of classmates next year and he said that is exactly why we have to write it down so he won't forget to invite them! So the list is now stuck on our fridge door!

I think it was me that felt more relieved after our talk. It is so important to me that he understands that we love him dearly and there are other ways for us to show him that. I think I am being self-conscious especially now that we have the twins to share our love and attention. I remember thinking and being scared (ok I am admitting this to all of you) that I cannot love my daughters as much as I love C. We have been partners for so long. He occupies this big chunk in my heart I do not know if I have enough space for more. BUT of course all my fears were unfounded.  It should have been C that I should have been worried about. But again he proved me lucky.  I have the best son a mom could ever ask for. He just makes it not EASY but at least less challenging.

So to all readers do not worry, this boy will still have a celebration. It may be small this time but we will all shower him with love and attention that he truly and completely deserves!

***

much love